


All I Want

by PinkMagnolia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sickfic, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23950468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkMagnolia/pseuds/PinkMagnolia
Summary: "I could die a happy man, I'm sure" All I Want, Kodaline.Two best friends separate under untimely circumstances so when Oikawa Tooru shows up at Iwaizumi's doorstep a year later, he doesn't want to say goodbye again.Over the course of one night, the two reflect on their last year of high school when Oikawa had fallen deeply ill. They tell the story of love and loss, the hard decisions that had to be made, and the heartbreak that followed.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> This story was mainly inspired by the song "All I Want" by Kodaline, I think it fits perfectly to what I'm writing. And maybe a little from the fault in our stars, but not really, just that Oikawa is kinda similar to Hazel sickness wise.  
> A warning, there is no character death in this fic, I'm probably the last person to ever like that kinda stuff, but death is definitely mentioned and a reoccurring theme.  
> I'm bound to make a lot of inaccuracies especially medically speaking because I am no doctor or professional in any of these subjects so feel free to correct me on any of those mistakes, I'm just taking a lot of creative liberties here. I'll try to update as often as possible, especially with quarantine!  
> Please enjoy :)

Oikawa stepped off the train and onto the platform, a gust of early spring air blowing his hair away from his face. He covered his eyes as the sun pierced through the clouds and looked down, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and pulled his phone from his pocket to check the address sent to him. He took a deep breath, the cities pungent smell wafting through his nose, and he stepped off the platform to hail a cab, giving the driver the address. Oikawa watched the bustle of crowds and sighed leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand, his eyes grazing over the passing pedestrians and neon signs. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Tokyo or even stepped outside of Miyagi for that matter, and it all seemed so daunting, yet a familiar curiosity tugged at his heart. He could remember almost two years ago when it was his dream to come to this city and play in the Tokyo gyms. He wanted to go to university and play with the strongest team in the country, and he was willing to work so hard for that. Now the city stood holding new experiences and opportunities that strayed from those past dreams. 

The cab stopped a few minutes later, shaking Oikawa from his thoughts, the boy quickly paying and thanking the man with a smile before stepping out onto the curb, observing the coffee shop perched on the corner of the street. He sucked in a deep breath his hand subconsciously squeezing around the phone in his pocket. Through the windows, his eye’s danced across those who sat inside the shop, searching for a recognizable face. He looked down at his phone noticing it was still 20 minutes to one and looked back up as a few strangers slipped passed him to cross the street, finally reaching out to step inside the little shop.

The smell of coffee immediately flooded his senses which helped to create such a welcoming environment along with the soft music that played in the background of the quiet chatter and coffee machines running behind the counter. He scanned the room, getting a better look without the tint of the windows, but he had yet to find a familiar face. Instead, as Oikawa’s eyes scanned the room he saw those who sat to pass the time with a cup in their hand, or those with headphones and a look of concentration at their laptop, or the occasional small group that laughed at jokes their friends had made. He smiled to himself, his shoulders releasing a tension he wasn’t aware was there in the first place. He figured he’d be there a while and so he stepped up to the counter to order a small hot chocolate for here, tipping the cash register for their kindness. He found a small booth over by a window and shook off his bag and jacket, sitting himself down on one side, expectantly waiting for the other side to be filled soon. He checked his phone and sighed realizing his insistent checking wasn’t going to make the time tick away any faster. 

“Your hot chocolate sir?” Oikawa looked up and smiled at the barista holding a small steaming white cup, and kindly accepted the mug, thanking the girl. He lifted the mug to his lips and hissed with instant regret as the liquid burned the tip of his tongue. He quickly placed the mug on the table, choosing to wrap his hands around the warms mug instead. His eyes wandered to those passing by outside of the shop, simply getting lost in his own thoughts again, letting the soft acoustic music fill his ears. 

“Mattsun, pinch me now.”

Oikawa’s head snapped up at the familiar voice, his eyes landing on two of his best friends. The two stood with admiring eyes and if he was honest, neither of them had changed one bit since he last saw them. Hanamaki’s pink hair was swept to the side, probably from the wind, and a shit-eating grin was plastered across his face while Matsukawa stood beside him with a familiar smirk and arms crossed across his chest. Oikawa broke out into a smile himself and stood from his seat to be welcomed into a hug from the both of them. “Well if it isn’t the Great King himself?” Hanamaki laughs, nudging Oikawa in the shoulder. 

Oikawa just rolled his eyes, nudging him back. “I told you to stop calling me that years ago, Makki,” Oikawa complained, rubbing the back of his neck, and invited the two to sit across from him in the booth.

They both shrugged off their jackets their eyes never leaving their old setter. They didn’t seem stiff like he remembered when he last saw them, but something tipped him off that they were nervous, or like they were waiting for Oikawa to suddenly disintegrate before their eyes. He tilted his head at them glaring slightly. “I’m not an alien guys, you don’t need to look at me like that,” he said pointedly at their strange behavior. But what wasn't strange with these two? He took another sip of the hot chocolate biting his tongue as he burned it once again.

“Funny coming from the guy obsessed with aliens,” Matsukawa teased, raising his eyebrows and leaning his elbows on the table. 

Oikawa glared at him accusingly. “Ya know I would know if I was abducted and became an alien, trust me I am the expert here!” he yelled, earning a few strange looks. He looked up at the two across from him and sighed, rubbing one of his temples with his thumb, “But that’s not what I’m saying. You’re both giving me this look like I’m gonna dissipate into thin air if you blink.”

The two boys give each that signature knowing looks like they were speaking without actually saying anything out loud; it was infuriating back in high school. Still kinda was. 

“Well I mean to be fair, we weren’t exactly sure this would ever happen, you gotta give us a break for being a little...surprised,” Hanamaki argued shrugging his shoulders.

Before Oikawa could speak another waitress popped over handing the two boys their drinks; a latte for Hanamaki and some sort of tea for Matsukawa. They finally broke their weirdly long eye-contact as they tentatively blew and sipped at their drinks. Oikawa looked down at his own, watching the whipped cream dissolve into the chocolate.

“I know this was sudden…” Oikawa trailed off for a moment unsure of how he could possibly explain the past year he had. 

“You look good, Oikawa.” He looked up in surprise. 

“Makki’s right. We don’t need an explanation, we’re just happy you’re back. And you do, you look good," Matsukawa stated, "not just to boost your ego or anything,” he added, with an amused smile. 

“Thanks, guys,” he sighed, feeling a little more reassured. He blew at his hot chocolate and happily took a sip, avoiding a burnt tongue this time and relaxes against his seat eyeing the two boys across from him.

Silence coated their booth before Hanamaki tentatively spoke, “So how exactly are you, Oikawa? Everything uh…going well and stuff?” he struggled for the right words, obviously trying to avoid saying anything specific.

Oikawa shook his head. “You really don’t need to censor yourself around me anymore I swear I’m alright now. Plus, it’s weird you being all sincere and stuff, it’s not like I’m dying,” he attempted at a joke hoping to lighten the dark mood that his two friends were sporting at the moment. There was a quick moment where the two boys on the other side of the booth eyed each other, unsure if they were supposed to laugh. Oikawa threw his head back letting out an exasperated sigh and threw his hands up in wild gestures. “You guys are too tense around me, knock it off! Its a joke, you’re supposed to laugh!” He practically whined and sipped at his hot chocolate when they visibly relaxed again at the familiar whiny tone.

Matsukawa waved his hand and leaned back shaking his head at the boy across from him. “All right, all right we get it."

"I don't need some walking pity party anymore, it's been a year and I'm doing well, honestly. The last people I need pitying me are you two idiots," he said pointing his fingers.

Hanamaki's mouth fell open, "Who're you calling idiots?" he gasped, mocking offense. 

Oikawa leaned back in his booth, smirking. “Ah yes, you're university men now how could I forget? Well, how is your first year then huh? Living up the parties like you always wanted?” The boys all laughed and continued their conversations for what felt like hours, as if they were right back where they left off. Oikawa gladly listened to the countless stories that the other two had at their first year of university, many of which included them doing something utterly stupid at a party, and by them, the finger was pointed at Hanamaki. He sipped at his drink as he listened to them talk about the classes they were taking, and he wasn’t in the least bit surprised to hear that neither of them were actually enjoying the work part of university. 

“You will never catch me pulling an all-nighter and you can mark my words on that!” Hanamaki announces, raising his cup almost in a toast to himself.

The darker haired boy barked out a laugh, eyeing his friend “More like past midnight, which explains half the C’s and D’s you’re complaining about. I’d catch you dead before I caught you studying properly,” he noted. 

“At least I’m living my college life, unlike you.”

“Not on academic probation you won’t.” Oikawa covered his mouth to laugh getting a glare from Hanamaki in return.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss these kinds of conversations, but something still felt like it was missing...

Once the laughter started to die down, Oikawa cleared his throat, “Um so how’s Iwaizumi doing? I haven’t exactly spoken to him yet...” he trailed off noticing the upbeat air had suddenly quieted and he watched as worry crept back into both of his friend’s eyes. It was like the two were debating who was the one to say something. 

Hanamaki decided to break the silence. “He’s well...he’s Hajime; a stubborn son of a bitch as always.” Oikawa nodded knowingly. “I mean the first few months we couldn’t get the guy to leave his dorm besides his classes and the library. We still have trouble getting the guy to come to a party,” he continued. 

Oikawa huffed out a small laugh, “I'm not surprised, he’s always been stubborn. He’s just the kind to bury his head in his work.”

“Hmm, remind you of anyone?” Matsukawa questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“Oh, whatever!” Oikawa scoffed pretending to look offended knowing full well his friend was mocking him for his own stubbornness they’d fought with countless times; especially when it came to volleyball. 

Matsukawa spoke up again, “He misses you, Oikawa.” His words dripped with sincerity contrasting the previous sarcasm. Makki nodded in agreement. 

Oikawa took the last sip of his hot chocolate and stared down at the empty cup, his mind suddenly going into overdrive thinking of his best friend. “What if he doesn’t want to see me?” he uttered, mostly to himself. 

Hanamaki laughed. “You guys were practically attached at the hip!”

“But that was...before. I doubt he’d even want to see me.”

“You haven’t seen what he’s been like the past year. He still waits for you, I think he’d want to see his best friend, Oikawa,” Matsukawa pointed out, causing a groan from Oikawa in response as he pushed his face into his hands. 

“He probably just hates my guts.” Oikawa dragged his hands across his face, starting to pout. Hanamaki and Matsukawa just laughed at the poor boy. 

“As much of a brute that boy is, he could never hate you. Now come on, we’ll even take you to see him, he’s on our way back to our dorm,” Hanamaki offered, at the pouting boy.

“You know you wanna see him so stop the pouting,” the other boy commented.

“But what if he’s not even there!”

“No more what if’s, the guy doesn’t have classes on Friday afternoons and he’s got nothing better to do. We’re not letting you put it off any longer,” Matsukawa argued and dragged Oikawa out of his seat. The taller boy just huffed, collecting his bag, and stepped out of the shop with the other two as they made their way towards Iwaizumi’s dorm. 

“You staying long?” Hanamaki asked as they started to cross a street, his hands stuffed in his pockets. 

Oikawa had to think about it, he honestly wasn't sure how long he was gonna stick around. He had a place to stay and didn't really have many plans besides meeting up with his friends. “Thought I’d stick around for a few days, take a look around. I was also thinking maybe I could get a tour of the university while I was here too,” he answered, as his eyes bounced across the people passing by. The constant movement of crowds was very different from the quiet that Miyagi offered. But he wasn’t really looking for quiet anymore. 

“Hey, we’d love to show you around and get lunch or something, the four of us yea?” he asked, obviously hinting at _the four of us_.

“Yea, that sounds great actually, thanks,” Oikawa replied. Hanamaki smiled triumphantly. 

The three continued to walk in a comfortable silence letting the sounds of the city replace their conversations. Oikawa easily towered over most of the others that walked by him, making him feel more at ease amongst the crowds that hurried by to get to wherever they were going. It seemed everyone was in a hurry to get somewhere.

A few minutes later the three stopped in front of an older looking red-bricked building. “We have arrived!” Hanamaki yelled, receiving an eye roll from the other two. 

Oikawa adjusted his bag and smiled at his two friends. “Thanks for bringing me here, it was really nice to see you both again,” he smiled. He really had missed these two more than he’d ever care to admit. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’re glad to see you doing well again,” Matsukawa waved him off, offering Oikawa a reassuring smile as he could practically feel the nervousness pouring off of him. 

Hanamaki slapped Oikawa’s back and quickly pulled a card from his pocket to scan at the door and propped it open for Oikawa, making a gesture for him to go inside. 

“I thought this wasn’t your building?” Oikawa questioned.

“Spare key my friend.” He wiggled his eyebrows, waving the key-card in front of his face.

“That was specified for emergencies.”

“This is obviously an emergency Matt-sun,” He pointed out. The boy directed just rolled his eyes at the pink-haired boy and patted Oikawa’s shoulder much softer than the other had. 

“He’s in apartment 12B, my friend. Give us a call for that tour yea?” Oikawa nodded walking past the threshold of the building. 

“Say hi to him for us!” Hanamaki yelled letting go of the door, and Oikawa watched as the two waved goodbye and continued to walk back towards their own dorm. 

Oikawa turned around letting out a long sigh and quickly noticed the lobby to be completely void of another person. He swallowed thickly at the uneasiness that brought to him. He slowly made his way to the elevator that brought him to the 12th floor and stepped off, starting to bit into his lip at the sheer quietness of the building. “Apartment 12B,” he muttered as his eyes scanned the doors in the long and very empty hallway. He stopped a few doors down and stood to stare at the giant rusted **_12B_ ** on the gray door. _He might not even be here and I would just be some idiot standing in a dorm building for a university I don’t even belong to_. He felt sick; completely and utterly nauseous and he was surprised he hasn’t thrown up on the doormat yet. He wrung his hands together taking as many deep breaths as he could while his heartbeat started to ring through his ears. _One year…_ he thought as he stared at the door before him. He quickly rapped his knuckles against the door and sucked in his breath, mentally cursing himself for doing that without thinking. Before Oikawa could even think of dashing back for the elevator, the lock from the other side of the door clicked and the door flung open. 

“I know it’s you Makki what the fuck do you-” the boy stopped mid yell and stood up straight, his eyes lifting to meet his own.

Oikawa couldn’t even force himself to breathe as the familiar voice caused his heart to beat 10x faster, he was just left frozen looking back at the boy’s yellowish, green eyes. A deadly silence covered them both and right there, at that moment when Oikawa was ready to make that run out of the building, a whisper passed over the other boy’s lips, one that was barely heard, but just loud enough for the name to ring out in the silence. 

“Tooru.” 

**Author's Note:**

> "All I want is nothing more  
> To hear you knocking at my door"


End file.
